Do you want to constantly have more amazing dances?
Many of us have experienced amazing dances, good dances, ok dances, not so good dances or sometimes even downright horrible dances.
But what are the factors that determine the level of enjoyment you have?
How can we ensure we have the most amazing dances possible, night after night, with every single partner?
What I am about to share with you allowed me to experience a month long “Dance High” in my home town that I would normally only experience when attending the top events in the world with the best of the best social dancers.
This concept will allow you to increase the percentage of amazing dances you have, turning the horrible (or just ok) dances into good dances, the good dances into great dances, and the amazing dances into the unforgettable ones.
You will soon have WAY MORE control over whether or not you will have great dances each and every time you dance!
To gain the benefits above, be prepared to do the following…in this order:
- Finish “Your Task” below (1-2 minutes)
- Read the rest of this content (3-6 minutes)
- Use “The Trick” the next time you go dancing
Before I share this tip on how to have more amazing dances, let’s check to see what your current thoughts are…
What makes an amazing dance for you?
Quickly enter 10 different ways to finish the sentence below:
I have more amazing dances when…subject (I, my partner, the music, the floor, etc)…action (have great connection, is great, is smooth, etc).”
Try to do it in less than 1 minute… ignore spelling/grammer… the faster you answer, the better, because it taps into your subconscious.
STOP: Don’t read below until you have finished your task above!
Ok, now that you have done that…continue reading.
If you did not write these 10 things out and instead, only thought of them in your mind, go back and write them down.
Writing them down is important because…
A. You won’t forget what you wrote down.
B. You will have a record of your very first thoughts before I have any influence on you.
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Most Common Answers
I have more amazing dances when…
- they play great music.
- my partner has a nice connection.
- my partner is smiling or enjoying the dance.
- the dance floor is smooth.
- everyone is having fun.
- my partner is challenging me but in a nice way.
- I have a creative partner.
- there is a good vibe or atmosphere.
- my follow doesn’t anticipate.
- my leader is not just doing every move he knows but is actually dancing.
What do all these answers have in common? Compare them to your own answers. Do any of yours stick out as different? If so, how?
Now, look at this less common example:
I have more amazing dances when…I am really feeling the music and connecting to my partner.
What is the difference in this statement compared to the other ten statements?
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Everyone of the first ten answers requires someone or something else to make the dance amazing. The music, your partner, the floor, the atmosphere, etc…
Put another way… the most common answers all give someone else control over whether or not you have great dances. They are all passive. Whether you are waiting for the DJ to play the right song, the venue owner to purchase a better floor, or your dance partner to smile, give you a “better” connection, or become a better dancer… by focusing on these things, you are waiting for others to make your dances more enjoyable and possibly even blaming them if it doesn’t happen (their connection was “bad”, they were off time, they ignored me, etc).
But in my experience, if we improve certain aspects of our dancing, then our partner’s skill level (or any of these other factors) really doesn’t matter…
…and needing or waiting for someone else to improve their skill level (or any of these other factors)…is actually hurting your ability to improve your dancing!
The Single Biggest Factor For Amazing Dances
I have found that the single biggest factor for having amazing dances starts with how I think about it. Is my natural state of mind to take action or to wait for someone else to make the dance amazing? Originally, it was definitely to wait for someone else but not anymore!
After I started adjusting my thoughts (and actions) to be more active & focusing on me, like the less common example, I ended up having WAY MORE amazing dances. Now, I constantly experience month long spurts in my home town where almost every night I go dancing, I am on a “dance high” that I only used to get when dancing at the top events in the world…and when I shared this with my students, they had similar experiences too!
Remember this quote from above?
Did all your answers focus on external factors that required someone else to do something or did some of them focus solely on internal factors about yourself?
If you had any internal factors, share them below in the comments. They are rare and extremely valuable!
If you didn’t, don’t worry, that is normal. From surveying thousands of dancers on this topic, the average group gives about 70% external factors, but within that group there are plenty of people who give 100% external factors.
This is normal. Don’t beat yourself up about it.
That said, you don’t have to be normal!
After realizing what I just shared with you, I started analyzing every spot in my dancing where I could take more responsibility & more action towards being the one to make the dance more amazing…
…and I have learned some mind blowing ideas from looking at dance thru this lens and I doubt I would have discovered them if I was just dancing and taking classes like I did in my first few years.
Let’s start with this super simple psychological trick to quickly start having more amazing dances without even needing to improve your skill level (although we highly recommend doing that as well).
The Simple Psychological Trick
The next time you go dancing…
A. Instead of looking around the room for someone who gives you amazing dances and asking them to dance… look around the room for someone that you can give an amazing dance to and ask them instead.
B. When you are done dancing with someone, just turn around and ask the next person you see to dance and if they say yes, commit to having a good… nay… an amazing dance with them, no matter who they are, what their experience level, etc.
These tasks might seem really simple but don’t let that stop you from experiencing the power in them. They might not seem much different from what you are probably doing right now…
…but in my experience teaching this to thousands of dancers, from beginners to international champions, it’s a game changer.
Besides, what do you have to lose?
Now, of course, you don’t have to do this all of the time, and even when you do it, you probably won’t succeed every time and that’s ok. Because you will succeed A LOT more often by taking action & focusing on what you can do, compared to waiting for it to magically happen.
If a great dance seems to happen magically, and you don’t feel you did anything different compared to your other dances, it probably wasn’t magic…
…it was probably your partner.
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Be that partner who
constantly creates the magic!
Of course, there are many more physical things you can do to enjoy more dances… but for now, try this trick. It’s a game changer!
It will definitely increase the percentage of amazing dances you have, and for some of you it will be the spark that allows you to have amazing dance after amazing dance all night long!
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Access your ‘Make Every Dance More Amazing’ Lesson Plan in Dance Ninjas Training Area.
Start here and master the 7 different strategies to have more amazing dances with everyone you encounter.
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1. Try trick A & B the next time you go dancing.
You might find one of them works better for you because of where you are in your dancing. Use that one for a little while and then try the other one again later to keep things fresh.
2. Share your biggest “Aha” or any internal factors in the comments below.
Sharing will root this concept more firmly in your brain so you are more likely to remember it later. Plus, it shares your thoughts with others, and sharing is awesome! 🙂